I can’t say that my road was not difficult to bear. I can say it took God’s love and faith to get me far as I have come. It was His intense love that got me through the most difficult storms wrought by humans and sickness. The dismay, prejudice, negligence, and indifference, I found to my rare heart disease was heartbreaking. You cannot imagine how it is to bear such a burden alone, lost in your sickness. God took me on a beautiful journey one day to heaven to show me faith, and after that though waning, my faith was there. Many of you out there need this faith to make your lives whole again, throwing off the various addictions experiencing and also others the emotional and physical strain you bear can be erased with God’s spiritual light and love. My story of one of my most terrifying times and how God showed me I am there for you is below.
In January 1999, my horrible physical and mental journey began. I started experiencing comas all day lying out on keyboard, lost in tunnels of dismay. The PAC I saw at the time told me I was staying up too late on the computer, instead of looking for the problem so all that year I was really terrified and so was my family and friends. They would find me lying on the floor and outside in coma. My blazer family would call and wake me up. My Blazer family was my online chat family who cared enough to watch over me. On June 26, 2000 my primary doctor returned and I told him about my episodes having. He immediately told me the medicine, stomach drug, Cisapride, I was taking was killing young people, and discontinued ordering tests. On July 3, 2000, I was entered in Temple Veteran’s hospital where I would fight for my life. On July 6th I was having chest pains and they code blued my room. The words I heard horrified me but some reason I felt sort of calm. I was taken to ICU where they sought to save me, later on transferred to Scott N White for heart catherization. The battle for my life and heart was just beginning. I was given no information except a heart doctor walked in saying you have had these episodes before and walked away. They told me nothing and why I was sick. After 14 days I was sent home awaiting a seizure hospitalization. Sadly they knew I had this rare heart disease but no one wanted help me. I almost died in seizure hospital while undergoing their tortures. They released me and told me it was my heart.
I was still passing out 6 months later and my primary doctor returned and told me you have a rare heart disease, Prinzmetal Angina, squeezing your heart and you must take this nitroglycerine emergency and put me on blood pressure drugs. I will order you heart specialist to help you; but suddenly the heart doctors would deny seeing me. I was seen by gastroenterologist who told me my esophageal spasms were my heart disease. During this time no one treated the spasms and it took till 2003 to get a heart doctor, who gave me right drugs. At the time I had the heart disease, Prinzmetal Angina was in Japan and USA only 20% women worldwide, now few more countries. My disease kills and they weren’t even willing to give me chance at life, till my patient representative Mac told me he was going to get me in the women’s clinic where I met my lifesaver, Dr. Mukhopadhyay. She started tests and put me on lifetime drugs where I can live comfortably and an awesome caring doctor, who this book is dedicated too. Between her love and care I am alive living with my disease now 20 years. Sadly this disease takes its victims in no more than three years 98% and mortality of one year is known. It was God who led me through this torturous time and He will lead you the same. Lean on Him and be made whole again. I can’t say my sickness isn’t still there but I can say God led me through with His love and still is. All can be healed with faith, hope, and prayer. Lean on God for your support and He can make you whole again. Let not your troubles be your pedestal but let God be your foundation you lean on. Listen To His Words! His Love! His Light For The World. Walk God’s Miracle Mile In His Spiritual Light
“Give Thanks To The Lord, For He Is Good! His Faithful Love Endures Forever!” Psalms 118:1
God Bless Ya All Poet Dorothy E. Scott
The Healing Faith
The beauty we hold inside, Is magnified by the healing faith. It’s the nutrients, on which we subsist, The nucleus of our well-being.
A powerful energy reaches in, Surrounding us with a cocoon of love. Feeling its powerful pull throughout our bodies, Enclosing us with the tissue of spiritual restoration.
The healing faith sheaths us, In his sacred oils of healing myrrh. Bringing our struggling bodies, With the divine hand of illumination.
To relieve our searching mind, Grasping for the needed answers, In our search for hope in our devoted lives, We must cling to the healing faith.
My gaunt face gazes back in the mirror, No longer seeing the carefree face of long ago. Pale features show the many sleepless nights, When pain is the only bedside.
A weak heart struggling to beat, In a diseased body in great distress. Faith seems to wane more each day, When the situation becomes so dire.
His gentle voice stills the weary mind, Battling a war between life and death. He reaches out with His tissue of solace, Showing me, my every tear He will dry.
On my darkest pathways, He will shine His spiritual light, Leading my weary body, To find the only rest is His love.
My every tear He will dry. Even in the saddest moments, I will not worry about tomorrow, Living today in his consoling arms.
I tell My Lord each night, I Must Go On and I want others, who are fighting diseases, painful and torturous, emotional or physical to know the will is to go on with faith. Love Ya Muahhhhhhhhhh Poet Dorothy Sis
My Lord I Must Go On (Prayer)
My Lord, I feel such burning pain inside, Yet I must go on, Knowing you are by my side, Preparing for the desperate battle.
When my crippled hands fail to grasp, I become so frustrated by the event. Your spiritual kiss brings me light, Making me try once again.
My disabled legs have failed to function. When I just want to give up, You send the energy I always need, To stand above the hurt, rise again.
My Lord, I must go on. I need to rely on You, When things become difficult, Become my foundation of support.
When troubles bewilder me, Send me Your loving light, To illuminate my darkened pathway, Leading me on the bridge of serenity.
My Lord, All this pain I can’t understand, I need your soothing words to remind me, Every day is a miracle, Keeping faith in my sight.
When I let anger rule my turbulent emotions, Send me the soothing lamp of your grace, For I am your child needing instruction, From My Father to guide every dismal day.
My Lord, I must go on, Though I get dismayed in my journey. Please hold me close through every tempestuous storm, Keeping faith as my mast.
When I let my trials beset me, Guide me from the jaws of discontent, Sending me your spiritual healing, Of my entire body, soul, mind.
The ethereal spirit reaches beyond my pain, Removing any thought of my resistance. His divine hand of love overtakes any malignancy, Threatening to destroy His child.
Nothing is impossible with His spiritual determination, For he reveals his ultimate power of healing. He wards away any medical affliction, Threatening to rob me of my existence.
His divine hand of love carries me beyond, The bounds of agony and infliction, To rest in the haven of His caring arms, Giving me the will to always believe in His miracles.
Trembling hands typed her final goodbye to her friends, She was lost in the world of hopelessness and depression. Far from the safe harbor of the Lord, She became immersed in the torturous waters.
She drowned in the waves of her emotion, Letting her uncaring mind become the victor. Hurting the ones she loved dearly, Leaving them to carry the burden of her death.
The sad news was posted of her suicide, Choosing death as her final journey, She lost her way in the storm, Not letting God in her troubled life.
My body is quenched with thirst, I reach out with my unsure hands in the dark, I grasp the only light from my world I see, A bottle of alcohol rests on my nightstand.
Needing to find the remedy to release this craving, I am hopelessly lost in this dismay. I need you to help me stand again, Free from this alcoholic addiction.
I am on my knees Lord, Begging for another chance, Beyond this chain binding me, With its intoxicating hands of deceit.
Lord, Shine Your Spiritual Light On Me! I am so lost in this alcoholic addiction, My soiled fingers have smudged Your glass, Where Your Living Water waits to quench.
My hands tremble from this inflicted abuse, The needle slips in painfully again. I feel the euphoric desire race through, Yet now it’s not enough anymore.
There’s no pleasure in this drug filled life, I am helpless in this illusion of guilt. No control of my actions any more, I have lost my innocence in life.
The beauty of my world is only a memory, Living my life in this world I have erected, It is a nightmarish dream I can’t escape from, Suffocating in its dankish chambers without rest.
I am alone in this pain I have built, Seeing no way out of this torture. My faith has grown so cold, Knowing I must find my way out of the dark.
Lost in a world of hopelessness, One I couldn’t readily understand, Jesus came to set my fear free, Taking me on His Stairway To Heaven.
I had become entrapped in a tunnel, Far from his soothing light I thought, When He came to show me His eternity, A sacred place beyond where life resides.
Gentle hands took mine in His, To take me on a precious journey not to be forgotten, Showing me beauty beyond what the mortal can see, I was taken to see His land of serenity
Taking His willing Hand, I began my unsure walk. His golden sandals touched the heavenly staircase, We started upward toward the sky, I felt no pain in His loving presence.
The fragrance of violets incensed the pure air. Jesus electrified me with healing energy. While a lone angelic harp played a soothing song, A rainbow of lights danced off prismatic walls.
A glorious feeling washed away any fear, As we made our final steps to the top. He kissed my serene face to comfort, I knew I had truly found grace.
A young soldier was feeling sad at his plight, Entrapped in a wheelchair not able to walk. Wheeling by a bench in the city park, He was so lost in miserable thought.
He lifted his head to stare into a smiling face, The little boy was sitting on the curb. Struggling to stand with braces on his legs, His hands were trembling from the strain.
The soldier spoke, “Son, You don’t have to stand up for me.” He lifted his blanket off his lap for the boy to see his legs, “Son, See my legs are artificial limbs, Without them I can never walk again.”
As he laid his blanket back on his lap again, His eyes filled with tears as he spoke, “Son, I stepped on an Iraqi mine in two thousand and four. Now I have to learn to walk again on my new legs too.
“Together we will keep the faith light glowing, Knowing God will help us both run His miracle mile. Holding our mind and hands together, We will make that faithful journey,
He patted his wheelchair ever so lightly, Saying, “ Today we will walk with faith, But tomorrow we will run God’s miracle mile.” He and the young lad were now standing in faith together.
Dedicated to the chosen poets and writers in Sick Poet Society, Also dedicated to my nephew, I raised, David, Estella Sis, Hope Sis, Marianna Sis, Abegunde Bro, and Feon Sis. I Love Ya All My Writers And Poet Family! May the blessings of Jesus always be your true Pen!
GOD'S LITTLE ANGEL God set about to paint the portrait he wanted you to be. He added all the beauty he could see.
He gave yours eyes a color out of the rainbow. Blush from the sunrise, smile with a glow.
The color of your skin was taken from the sand. Your hair was built from the flowers of the land.
He gave you two hands, fashioned sturdy as a tree. Two feet given the talent to run quickly.
He gave you a smart mind to learn. And a personality to enchant all with concern.
Your love was molded with the utmost care. With all you continually share.
God set about to paint the portrait he wanted you to be. He added all the beauty he could see.
Power Of The Night
Feel the power of the night, Its energy vibrates with intensity. I hear the distant sound of drums, Realizing its only the pulsations of my heart.
I hear the locust chirping a happy tune, They relate songs of their own life. My body is aching for a peace, From the affliction of pain.
I feel the power in the night, Reaching out with arms of healing. Its nutrients my helpless body craves, A place beyond the torturous hands of disease.
The spiritual power of the night overwhelms me, Wishing to partake of the victory offered. My heart knows not true faith. My arms grow weak from the reaching.
In my soul is my spiritual blossom, That will never wither or decay. It nourishes my entire being, In the trials faced each day.
When my body becomes very weak, It sends me the strength needed to withstand all. Loving petals continually incense my troubled mind, When faith’s foundation threatens to fall.
Hopeless times it carries me, When my legs are too tired to tread. It becomes my spiritual guide, In my entire being my soul is fed.
My spiritual blossom is a precious part of me, Always bidding me to go the extra mile. When I am too weary to fight anymore, It feeds me faith overcoming any bitter vial.
Gazing upon the turbulent seas, I felt much apprehension inside. The deepest fear rose from my mind, Trying to flow into my waning spirit.
Unsteady feet dipped in the unknown, As I started my terrifying wade. Across the waters a soothing hand reached, Holding my head above the strangling waves.
I arose from the deepest pit, To ride on the spiritual raft of reality. His gentle voice spoke, “Your faith will guide you always.
“Do not be afraid to take the first step, My Child, There are many dangers, I am there to hold your head, Above any perilous waves.”
Gazing upon the turbulent seas, I felt much apprehension inside. Suddenly I felt a serene light, Cleansing my mind of fear in the dark.
As I walked across the disgruntled waters, To reach the other side, His loving hands held me, Above the angry waves of life.
The incorporeal spirit feeds, On the representation of the needy. The etheral walls enclose, Around a struggling body denied.
The helpless cry out in desperation, Desiring the soothing gleam, An etheral of spiritual insight, That only faith can give the wary traveler.
A spiritual illumination rises in the despondant, Sending a holy shroud about the waning soul, Bathing them in the unworldly radiance, Healing their cold internal blight.
The incorporeal spirit is no longer denied, The hallowed kiss of the divine, A spiritual light of resolution, God has restored the judicious soul.
Deep inside I felt the leeches, Draining away my lifes blood. I was lost in the pit of my own shame, Leading me to believe bad things about myself.
His hands reached in to save me, From the drowning river of my emotions, Washing my soiled linens with His grace, Making my soul clean and pure.
His spiritual kiss revived me, Restored my waning spirit. Lost in the tidal pools of my own affliction, He raised me from the leeches feasting.
Once lost in life, I have been released, From the harrowing sickness of my mind, To travel on the pathway of serene beginnings, Washing away the tribulations of yesterday.
Reaching out my trembling hands grasp only air, A crevice has opened underneath my feet, I feel my body being pulled inward, To the murky darkness without end.
I am slipping down in the bottomless pit, Knowing my situation is becoming hopeless, One journey I would never be able to return from, Without finding true faith in myself.
My childhood memories flash by. The suffocating pain stifles my every breath. I am lost in this darkness of past nightmares, A place where only distress has reside.
Reaching out I saw a shimmer of light, My searching fingers reached for its warmth, I grasped hold of the last thread of my hope, God had had set my torturous mind free.
No nutrition do I crave, Something inside of me seems so lost. I reach out to partake of the food, Yet my hand remains empty.
I am addicted to medicines, To achieve my goal of not eating, Causing me to regurgitate uncontrollably, Satisfying my need for inner healing.
My emaciated body bears witness, To the constant abuse inflicted, Hopelessly lost in my anorexic life, I cling to the only light from my entity.
Lord, Free me from this addiction I pray, Giving me Your ultimate healing, Restoring my mind to always believe in myself, Beyond this anorexic nightmare.
I was immersed in the briny sea, Till the hallowed hand reached out to save, I couldn’t get past my quicksand memory, My childhood had me trapped in my mind.
I felt the hurt chipping away at the soul of me, The harshest pain I was forced to bear. Until You showed me the light of my destiny, Guiding others to find peace in Your Light.
My body had began to sink deeper within, My depression had me forever lost, Till the Lord rescued this victim captured in sin, To help the suffering find new beginnings.
My foundation has been strengthened by His care, Leading me to write this book on His love, For others to heal from their past still hard to bear, Beyond life chipping away at the soul of me.
Lord, So many tears I have shed, Trying to forget my troubles past, Cutting my innocent body so many times, To heal from lashes others cast.
Lost in this mental prison, I feel no way out of this dismal life. The world is suffocating me, My mind can’t bear the continuous strife.
I feel no physical pain from my wounds, A healing of my emotional blight. I reach out to embrace the comfort, But the darkness shields Your healing light.
Help me to overcome this tragic infliction, I bestow upon myself in dismay. Heal this hollow feeling inside of me, Giving me true faith along my difficult way.
I felt the refreshing breeze surround my weary body, Encircling me in a halo of enlightenment, Wiping any melancholy thoughts from my mind. I no longer searched for answers to be found.
In the wind of life I found my serenity, No longer looking for peace on every corner, Seeing the beauty in myself for the first time, I had rebirthed into puritys own shell.
Yesterday I trod the pathway of deceit, Avoiding tragic pitfalls along the way, Yearning holes reaching out to shackle With arms of consternation set to capture.
In the wind of life I found a realm, Where my heart could flow free, Beyond the mortal plane, To the higher throne of God’s love.
I was broken and bruised, Sustaining spousal abuse each day, Till The Lord took me by my hand. Taking me away from this abusive life.
I knew the walk wasn’t going to be easy, For I was broken and bruised, By my marital spouse in many ways. But My Father assured me He would hold me.
Emotionally I became a wreck, Needing the help of My Father, To get me through the next difficult steps, We would together take on the healing mile.
I am no longer broken and bruised, Holding His hand I am never alone. I know He will wipe my tears away, In any times needed for comfort.
Together we will journey, Beyond the continuous cycle of abusive hurt. My Father protects me in His spiritual light, As together We take each new step in the future.